It's not what it looks like...

I don't know how this video got leaked but it is definitely, positively not what it looks like...  

He came on to me! I told him "no, i'm not into that sort of thing because it's wrong and unnatural," but he wouldn't listen. You see how big he is. I couldn't tell him no or who knows what he would do to me.  He told me I had a pretty mouth and stuff and stared at me with an evil glint in his eyes.

Despite how it looks I was definitely not enjoying myself. Duke probably was enjoying himself because he's that kind of dog. I, on the other hand, am a wholesome and respectable canine. Although I do get lonely... From time to time... 

I think i'm being set up here. This is blackmail! I wonder what the demands will be? I have a stash of Jack's Links Beef Jerky! Take it all!